Six Ways to Deal with Peer Pressure

We've all heard about it, been warned about it, been preached to about it, but how do we deal with it. A pressure is a force that is placed upon us by our friends to behave a certain way. Everyone must face this pressure no matter what age we are. Adults sometimes call it politics. Peer pressure is a very strong force because we naturally want to please those whom we care about the most. A boy may want to please his girlfriend because he really cares about her. She has very strong influence over him to get him to live up to her standards.

Our friends are particularly influential. Our friends accept us for who we are with all of our imperfections. They like us just the way we are. We don't want to lose our friends, and so we tend to do things that will please them. This tendency gives our friends tremendous influence over us. We will do things for our friends that we wouldn't do for anyone else. That is why we sometimes get into trouble.

When a friend suggests to you that you do something contrary to what your parents told you to do, you have a decision to make. Do you obey your parents, or do you go along with your friend. All too often you choose your friend because you don't want to lose your friendship. Mom and Dad will always be there, but you're not so sure about your friend. Many a person, young and old, has done something very stupid because a friend suggested they do it.

When Jesus was being tried by Pilate, the Bible says that Pilate could find nothing wrong with Jesus, but the people were instant with loud voices and Pilate “gave sentence that it should be as they required.” Even though he did not want to crucify Jesus, he could not stand up to the peer pressure. He “delivered Jesus to their will.” Read Luke 23:13-25.

How to Avoid Peer Pressure

1. Avoid those you know will put negative peer pressure on you. Every teenager knows who those kids are. Do your best to stay away from them. Be kind to them. Treat them with respect, but do not have any social contact with them if you can avoid it. Don't give them the opportunity to put pressure on you.

2. Decide what your standards are. This is called living by principle. Daniel did this when he stood up to the king and said he would not bow down. At some point in life, each of us must make a decision to stand for what we believe or cave in to every person who comes our way with an idea or belief. The great people of history are the ones that stood for a belief. You might be surprised to find that other kids respect you for your beliefs and willingness to stand for them. That has been the hallmark of great Americans through the centuries.

3. Choose your friends wisely. Your parents, your pastor, and your youth pastor should all be on your list of friends. Cultivate that list first. If you have one good friend who believes like you believe, you're a very fortunate person. Don't try to be popular with everyone in the crowd. Be honest with your friend. Share your beliefs with your friend to make sure they believe like you do.

4. Have your friends over to your house. If your friends really like you, they will be as comfortable at your house as you are. If you are uncomfortable in your own home, you need to talk to your pastor or youth pastor about your relationships. Your best friends should be those who are in your home.

5. Sometimes we have to be lonely. There are times when we have to take a stand. It will appear as if we have no friends. This can be a very tough situation. Only the strongest teenagers can survive this. Tough it out. It is worth the pain to stand for right. You will be a better person and a stronger person because of your stand. Learn to say, “No.”

6. Never attend any slumber parties or sleepovers. Peer pressure raises its ugly head the most at these events. Tell your friends that you can attend the party until 11:00 p.m. and that you have to go home after that time. Make sure your parents pick you up. Nothing good takes place after 11:00 p.m. I have never heard anyone in a group say, “Let me tell you a blessing that I had recently.” You'll never hear someone say, “Hey, let's all read our Bibles.” Whatever goes on at an all night party will, at best, be carnal and, at worst, be sinful. Avoid these times like the plague.

Only you can prevent peer pressure. Only you can say, “No.” Only you can control the influence of your friends. Your pastor cannot do this; your youth pastor cannot do this; your parents cannot do this. Your ability to control your own destiny and your own behavior will determine how successful you become in life.

Send me some examples of peer pressure that you have had to face and how you handled the situation. We will put them in the paper to help other kids do right. I will change the names and location if you wish, so as not to embarrass anyone. You should mail your story to me at Hyles- Anderson College, 8400 Burr Street, Crown Point, IN 46307, or e-mail me at tvogel@hylesanderson.com.