Why Do Spiritual Teenagers Stumble at the Door of Spiritual Adulthood

Ephesians 5:17, “Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.”

Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

The Bible doesn't say a lot about you spending your time fretting or worrying what the will of God is; the Bible says you should be very concerned about understanding the will of God. Not only should you not worry about finding the will of God, but it's your job to prove that what you are doing is the will of God.

There is a minor crisis that occurs in the developmental stage of a young adult right at that threshold crossing from a spiritual teenager into adulthood. Far too many young people stumble right there. Sixty-one percent of Bible-believing young people who are involved in their churches as teenagers are no longer involved in their twenties. Reasons Spiritual Teenagers Stumble at the Threshold of Adulthood:

1. They do not have an adult mature enough to bring them into adulthood. They lack a mature adult to bring them into adulthood; usually it should be Dad or Mom. Mom and Dad, that is your primary goal. Passing on family pastimes or favorite teams is good; but it doesn't make your child spiritual, it doesn't make your child right with God, and it doesn't help him know how to balance a checkbook. We seem more concerned about having our child wear the colors or have the pennants and look the act than being a man. What you end up producing is a man who beats up on his wife and walks out on his kids.

We need to teach these boys how to take care of the finances, how to take care of their wives, and how to rear their children. We're far too concerned with our boy showing a good show in little league than we are with him learning to do right, cut the grass, be honest, listen to right music, treat his sister properly, and have some decency and integrity.

The big thing in life should be when your son can successfully go from a boy into manhood without stumbling and falling and bringing shame and embarrassment to his family, to his God, and to his church. Young people try to bring themselves into adulthood, and most parents have a hard time talking frankly to their adult child. If you cannot talk to your son when he is 6 or 7 years of age, you will not talk to your boy when he's 16, 17, or 18. Most parents panic at the 99-percent completion point instead of getting relaxed at this time and saying, “What we've done, we've done; and what we haven't, we haven't.” Now is not the time to pack 20 years of teaching into the last 20 minutes.

2. They cannot understand why authority will not give them independence. Independence is given to the degree that respect is shown. As the young person gets older, an agreement has to be made between him and the adult: I'm going to trust you, but you have to respect me. If you don't respect me, it's going to be hard to trust you.

3. They are very shortsighted and temporal. Teenagers, you fail to consider that you will soon be married and parents yourself.

4. Parents failed to wean their young person into responsibility and decision making. Your time to teach them how to make decisions is not at the threshold. This is when most of you are beginning child rearing. They get here, and then you say, “What am I supposed to do?” You should start teaching them how to make decisions and tying values into the decision-making process when they're six years old. As they get older, you start letting them make decisions so they have experience making decisions and can learn from their mistakes if need be. A mistake in decision making at this point is far less detrimental in their life than after they have crossed the threshold. They must learn a pattern for making decisions so that when they're crossing into adulthood, they are ready to accept the decision-making process and have learned that Dad is a smart person and has a lot of wisdom and has always guided me with good thoughts; I think I'll include him in my decision-making.

5. Often this is a time of a major breakdown in communication. This is what happens when you stop talking. Every relationship is dead in the water when you stop talking. Find something to do where the two of you can talk. I recommend that you find out what your teenager likes doing and become an enjoyer of the same thing.

6. There is a failure to understand Satan's basic traps and how to avoid them. The problem with this generation is they don't understand that there's a devil out there and he's as real as I am. He's out to get you and has a lot of traps out there for you. Beware of the trap of anger and defiance. Once you become angry and defiant, you're on his turf. Beware of the trap of resentment and bitterness; because once you start thinking life isn't fair and Mom and Dad aren't treating you well, you're playing his tune, you're dialing his station and frequency, and he's reeling you in. Beware of the trap of pride and contention and spouting off to your mom, dad, and other people. How do you fight those traps? Simply with gratitude, grace, and humility. As you get older, you have to learn to be more thankful. You overcome anger and resentment by gratitude and thanksgiving.

7. There is a failure to see the connection between their emotional frustrations and their moral and spiritual meltdown. Frustration is a byproduct of an undisciplined life. The selfish symptom of frustration is feelings of rejection. The cure is discipline, time management, wise goal selection, and simple rewards. A child must learn obedience first then pleasure. Frustration has to be dealt with and it's not yelled out or scolded out or vented out; frustration is organized out. It happens when he learns time management--getting up on time, time for God, time for obedience, and time for parties. You've got to teach this as they grow up.