Dear Husband's of women who are insecure about their beauty,
I would like to write this article to help you know what you can do to help your wife in this area. You are probably the best and only solution in this area for your wife, yet a little insight from a woman's point of view could be very helpful.
A wife's insecurity about her physical attractiveness can be cause for marriage problems. There are a great percentage of women that have been emotionally injured at some time in their life and if that injury stems from anything that involved her body, she probably needs help.
The general population of modest women in society feel challenged every day. Insecure women can feel in competition every day. Is it not true that you can't step foot out of your door without crossing paths with a woman that is in some way provocative in appearance?
The magazines, signs, posters, and billboards with scantily clad women are enough, not to mention the skintight clothing, low necklines, and short shorts on the women in Wal-Mart!
Let me go back to the emotional injuries that are experienced by women. This society is FULL of girls that were, at the very least, examined by their brothers as children. Children are learning things at extremely young ages, mostly from their friends, and using siblings to experiment with. That emotionally injures a child.
Many girls had parents that tore her down constantly. Calling her names and tearing a girl down all the time will naturally make her believe that she is what she's been told she is.
Abuse. Sadly, there have been numbers of girls abused sexually as children, not just experimented with.
Divorce involves a woman physically and eventually may leave her feeling undesirable or unwanted. These things can cause a woman to be insecure about whether or not she is beautiful, attractive, and enough to satisfy her husband.
Some things you can do to help her are relatively simple. Any husband can do the things that I am going to suggest. It may not seem to be a solution to a man but it can make a world of difference for a wife. Men like to put a nut a bolt on a problem and never have to worry about it again.
I'm afraid that is not so in this area. She will need constant reassurance that she is everything you need in a wife. (If you are not happy with her and satisfied because of a problem in your own past, you will need to get help with your problem before you can be of much help to her.)
Constant reassurance doesn't take much, but a teensy weensy comment of your approval every day goes a looooooong way! It can be as simple as, I like that color on you. You can tell her you like that blouse on her, and that means something totally different to a women!
If you've ever heard of a woman referred to as a flower, this is the daily care that goes into getting your beautiful rose to bloom!
Comment about her hair one day, her clothes one day, her face another day, her legs another day. And yes, be sure to give her compliments that are intimate and sexual, but there is no need to comment on her sexual beauty every day.
In fact she doesn't want that. She wants to know that you like the way she does her hair, and you like the color of it and you like her nose and her eyes, etc, etc, etc. She would love to know that you love every detail that God created in her. (If your wife was severely abused sexually, you may have to go easy on the sexual compliments, or not give them at all at first.)
There is no need to pile up the comments to make up for lost time or to make up for the days you missed. Treat her like a little girl with candy. You give her too much and it's more harmful than helpful.
By using these simple ideas, your wife will feel more secure in her desirableness. She will be a very happy lady and feel much loved!
When she looks in the mirror she may not see herself the way you can see her. Be a mirror for your wife!
Pro 27:19 As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man.
Liberty Baker is a pastor's wife, teacher, and pianist in the Church. She home-schools her children and loves to teach others what she has learned.
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