The more we know of someone the less intrigue and mystery there is and thus the less attraction there is in the relationship. This is a problem. To have a lasting and meaningful relationship, you need to fall in love over and over again.
Most folk mistake the strong feelings of attraction for that of love. But these emotions of attraction can't be dismissed either. They are the force that keeps a relationship, such as a marriage, strong and viable. It's what most call love, and for the purpose of this article we'll call it that too.
I am a Christian and the Bible teaches me to love my enemies. It doesn't say that I must like them, however. But in a marriage, when the attraction dies, so often the relationship dies too. My wife and I find new and exciting ways to fall in love with each other over and over again.
This is something that you need to do. If you want your relationship to be strong, fall in love all over again...and do it for the rest of your life.
This article will assume marriage is the fundamental relationship that needs to be revitalized with falling in love again and again.
PUT SOME MYSTERY BACK INTO THE MARRIAGE
Build some intrigue by putting some mystery back into the relationship. Remember when you used to try to surprise each other with a gift, a note, or a special date? Get back to that. Return to the time when you were exploring each other's emotions, thoughts, and ideas.
Explore new activities with each other. Rediscover your mate's love of certain activities. Don't be afraid to be coy, and mysterious, and interesting again. Make your life interesting and you'll fall in love once again.
People's likes and dislikes change over time. The person you married is not the person he or she is now. We change. Rediscover those likes and dislikes. Take pleasure in rediscovering your spouse.
Look for things that strike you as, "Wow, I didn't know that!" That is a good place to start your exploration.
PUT SOME EXCITEMENT BACK INTO THE MARRIAGE
So many marriages seem to just fizzle. They don't have that spark that they once had. This is sad. Put some excitement back into the relationship.
For most people, excitement is anticipation. Remember when you were a child and found out that the family was taking a trip to Disney Land? There was more excitement in the household just from the anticipation than the actual rides probably produced.
* Plan a vacation
* Do community service together
* Plan interesting and intriguing events for holidays and birthdays
* Be spontaneous
* Be romantic
So many times we get into a rut. And, as I heard one man mention, a rut is only a grave with both ends knocked out.
GET BACK TO BEING A GENTLEMAN OR A LADY
We so much loved the poise, debonair attitude, and the princely bearing. Get back to that.
Men, be a gentleman again. Hold the door, seat your lady, and offer your arm. Rekindle that spirit that says, "You're very special to me and I'll treat you that way."
Ladies, be a lady again. Be gracious, a bit coy, or a little mysterious. Dress up for your man like you once did. Rekindle that spirit that so intrigues a man.
Do these things and maybe you fall in love with each other again, and again, and again.
Greg S. Baker is a Pastor, Counselor, and Author specializing in building and strengthening relationships.
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